Are You Single or Married?
Posted: Saturday, May 09, 2009
by Grammy Guru
http://grammyguru.com
For most people, it's probably a simple question to answer. You're either married or not.
Several years ago, I didn't have to think before I answered it.
But now, I'm not really certain which one is the correct answer. I know how I'm supposed to respond, so why can't I just say the right word?
If I sound confused, it's because I am. My husband died in 2006 after a valiant, eighteen month battle with cancer. We had been married almost forty years.
I haven't received a "To My Wife on Mother's Day" card for the past two years, so I certainly realize I'm single. I wish my heart would get in sync with my brain.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to form on my lips the word I need to say.
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More commentsIt makes me miss my xgirlfrien that I loved so much. I let many problems get in between and destroy our relationship and on many holidays/days I have such an empty place in my heart missing her so much. May God Bless You and Your "Guy" Today and I wish you comfort to your heart.Please log in to respond to this comment.Dan, I am sorry for your loss. I hope there will be love and joy in your heart again one day.Thank you so much for taking time to express your comments and for your support.Blessings to you,GrammyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
After forty years with a man you love, it's understandable that it is difficult to move on or to acknowledge you are now single. In your heart I suspect you will always be 'married' and that is a wonderful testimony to the meaningful relationship you had. I'm sure many of your readers will identify with you Grammy. Thanks.Please log in to respond to this comment.Hi, Brianna,Thanks for sharing your comments. You are so right on with regards to them.As I talk with others who have or are going through loss of a spouse, many of us have similar feelings about using the "s" word. To some degree that helps normalize the feeling I have.Ultimately, it has been helpful to reflect on my good fortune in having such a loving, long term relationship. I plan not to lose sight of that.
Best wishes,GrammyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
hi grammy,i am 52, and in my grandmother's generation, no one remarried, at least not in my family. one great aunt was pregnant with her 3rd son when her husband was killed in world war ll and she never remarried, my grandmother never did, nor her other siblings. i think they all felt the same way you describe. i feel the same, but since my partner is thankfully still alive, i can't be certain, but i THINK i would never be with another man if something happened to him.i have needed him in my life. he's my soul mate. nothing will replace that. i would feel like i was cheating on us!i guess widow is the only description, or the only choice on forms, and in society. i would always know my partner was on my shoulder, guiding me in my ear.thanks for sharing,my best regards,sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.Dear Sue,I hope you have many more wonderful years with the partner you love.I had forgotten how typical it was of women from your and my generation to remain widows after their spouses died.Thanks so much for your comments.Please log in to respond to this comment.
The article is simply written and was easy to read, but each time I read it the sadness of the writer's situation is magnified. Well written, evokes emotion.Please log in to respond to this comment.Thanks for reading and commenting, Frances. Love evokes powerful emotions and sometimes mine just spill out onto paper, so to speak.Best wishes,GrammyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Grammy, whether you stay married to him for two more years or forty more, he will always hold a special place in your heart--there is always room for that special lost loved one no matter how many new people come into your life.Beautiful sentiment.SandraPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hey Grammy. Wow! I can't even imagine how it feels. Danny and I are almost to the 33 year mark and I don't want to face the reality that one of us will be without the other someday. I admire you for what you wrote. And I'm sorry that you aren't together on this earth anymore. I think I would have the same struggle. Powerful piece, Grammy. Thanks for sharing.Please log in to respond to this comment.Dear Lorrie,Thank you for reading and sharing also. I hope you have many more wonderful years with Danny.Best wishes,GrammyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Grammy,This heartwarming write is filled with passion ... and truth! Simply because yes, you are still married to a wonderful man (smile).Please log in to respond to this comment.Dear Ronyae,I'd like to thank you for the lovely complements and for reading the article about the wonderful guy God sent my way.Best wishes,GrammyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
I do too, Grammy, I do too.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Congratulations, you have expressed joy. Your joy.Please log in to respond to this comment.Thanks for recognizing there was joy, for that's what will be remembered. I appreciate your comment.Best regards,GrammyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
This was a really good article. I have a teacher who had her husband die last year in a car accident, so i can somewhat relate. She talks about her "husband" all the time, even though he is no longer living. I think that I would have a hard time comprehending, if i was single or married....thanks, and i am so sorry for your loss.Please log in to respond to this comment.Dear Hayley,Thanks so much for commenting on the article. It was also kind of you to extend your sympathy.Best wishes,GrammyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
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